A weird dream.

That was a weird dream. Really.
I woke up with restless mind, grab the thing that I love. Hug him. My cat, MewMew.
With tears rolling down my cheek.
But, I was unsure. Why am I crying?

MewMew lost in the middle of nowhere. I just became so panic. He was supposed to be taken care by my sister, Hannah.
She failed to do it. Eventually.
I was panicking like never ending chaos happens to hit the Earth.
I was casting spells that even the witch could never say.
I was hurting my sister with words that the heart can feel the heat of the hell.

And finally, I found MewMew.
I hug him.
Look at my sister's face.
She was so sad.

It surely signifies something. It surely reflects something.
I knew it because I feel it.
The incomplete.
But what is it?
Just by thinking, I became so restless.

Could it be that Im just a bastard who always made and always make bad choices?
Could it be I misvalue something in a path of life journey?
Why am I turning back on my sister so MUCH just because of her little mistake?
Instead of that, how I acted was the thing that i supposed NOT to act. But surely, its the nature of me that will act that way.
Am I really losing my rationale?

I guess I am.

" 'I love problems'. Kawan abah suka baca buku tu. Sebab semua benda ni akan wujud dalam hidup. Tak akan lari. Cuma, bagaimana kita mengendalikan masalah tu. Itu yang membezakan kita. Hidup ni adalah satu proses pembelajaran. Cuba selesai masalah, bukan create masalah."-- Abah.

I am not that mature enough like Abah. I need to learn more. Get more and solve more.

And that was my very frst time I have ever talked to abah about the life. Seriously and deeply.