Thursday, December 26, 2013

Of today's award

Assalamualaykum,

Perhaps, there are not many people who knows the tale behind that award that I just received today. Yes,  today I received an award for the best athlete of the year. Pretty funny though, since they gave me that award by just judging it from my achievement, in sports and academics (a bit heh). Anyway, this feels awkward since I kinda feel awkward writing this in English. Anyway, just for the record, please do mind my grammar mistakes (so that I will improve more). Alhamdulillah for that award, deep down I do feel happy and proud of myself for getting it, apart of me being fat. But, anyway, it is not a plus point for me. Being an athlete is not something I would really wanna be proud of, but still, can be something.

Straight to the point.

Ever since I was small, I had really wanted to be the best. Not to feel proud of anything or to brag anything in front of other people and relatives, but it always be for my parent. Guess, everyone in the world really wants to make their parents proud, right? But, ever since I was small too, all that I got was the award for academic achievement. But, it was very late, when I was in Standard 5 and 6, I got somekind of 'magic' that suddenly everything worked out for me in academics. Perhaps, the passion that I am in, with lots of supports from my parent for me to take interest in Maths and Sciences. Pretty much worked out. But, yeah, being a pupil in a small village proves nothing, its like being a hero in your own hometown. So, the achievement, was just a "meh" to me.

Proceed.

Then I entered MRSM/MJSC Pasir Salak in Perak. Oh yeah, the feeling when I saw the 'smart' faces and the 'city boys' around me kinda made me feel, lack of confidence. And I still am (for other reasons) now. But, I just did my own thing, study, achieve just an average dean's list GPA, for the sake of the people in my hometown that my father always remind me, that I have the potential to change something, for at least, in my own small community in my hometown. I will always believe that, and I will always hold to that as my responsibility, for the money that I used in each and every day is the money that the people not just gave it to me, but they trust me with money. That's a huge responsibility, I must say. But yes, I do forget that after all. But still, if I could count all the money that people gave to me through MARA, I guess, it has been 10 years that I've been in this 'debt'.

Ouh.

Returning back to MJSC Pasir Salak. Yes, I do achieve something there. But there was one incidence that I will never forget for the rest of my life of how badly that I want an award, just to tell my parent that their son achieved something. Their son who is just a typical short 'kampung' boy achieved something! But I was disappointed by the MJSC Administration when suddenly, on that particular 5th semester of lower form schooling, they decided only the top 3 in the school will be given the award for the best student. And I was in the fourth place (it was according to the accumulating GPA, so yeah). Before this, the top 5 students will be awarded. And it was not the saddest part. The saddest part of all was I actually told my parent that they might be coming because I am receiving an award soon. They were all excited. And when they got the news that I was not going to get, well, that disappointed me the most, not them. Because Im the one who always wanna give something them after all the hard work they have done for me, even until now.

Moving on.

In MJSC Langkawi, I hardly being noticed. Even if I am, it would always be about something bad, gossips, how fierce I was, etc. I did my best, but, I knew, they are some other people who were better, I accepted that. But, I did proud of myself for pulling up a bloody good effort in fighting, well, I guess.

The fight is not over. I felt like it is over. Now, I am doing what I want to do. Play anything for fun, join anything that you had never join before, well for me, mostly games. 5 years of playing badminton, handball, table tennis, and God-knows-whatever-games-else-but-not-the-love-game,  finally, I got noticed. More importantly, internationally. Eheh.

So yeah, even though my parent is not here today, anyway, I hope I did make them proud.

More importantly, my future is what I am gonna make them proud :)


p.s: hye!
pp.s: don't simply believe in gossips.
ppp.s: credits to all the photographers, well, to Giftson and Ubadah !

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