Assalamualaikum,
Wah it has been like 24 hours after stress-loaded Pharmacology exam yesterday, yet I still feel the tiredness of staying up for this one whole month of exam tsunami. I would like to give me a round of claps for all the hardwork (la-sangat) that I spent daily. Result, obliviously is just a matter of luck, I didn't expect anything. Well, exams are exams. Exams are obligatorily should be accompanied with stress. Just to be clear, this third year examinations are the worst exams that I ever had entered in my entire life. The stress, scared of being failed were just so unbearable (well as for me, I don't know others). These exams were more than SPM, though not as important as SPM, but I can't deny the fact that these 5 exams were really tiring enough to get me hang myself up, or jump off a building like KLCC or something higher than that.
Yes, I am serious.
Why? You know SPM, or other Malaysian-oriented-examinations are just so much more well planned. They will have a long period of study weeks. Just to prepare a bundle up exams. We were given just 5 days to prepare for this 5 exams. Of course it wouldn't make any sense we finish it up by time to cover all of the topics learnt for 2 semesters per subject. So, we had another option;- Study the subject within the inter-exam interval time. Short enough, around 3-4 days. I managed to cope though not that strongly for the subjects that need understanding like Therapy, Surgery, PatAnat, or Patphys. Just enough time. But, as for Pharmacology, I got only 3 days to study them all, with the drug's names which are too ridiculous enough to remember, I had to buckle up everything for my last exam. Luckily, I passed it. Alhamdulillah, thanks to Allah for everything.
Mysteriously mystery and misery
So lately, people are getting on their nerves on me. Merely because of what? Yeah, because I USUALLY updated my psycho-exam-stressing Facebook statuses. And usually it happens the night before exam. Every exam. Okay, I made up my mind just to clear things up in this blog, though I know, they or you wouldn't read this. Things are getting more annoying for them, when they found out I got kinda good results (**good, acc. to them).
I keep saying "I am soooo gonna fail this exam" or "Habislah aku esok, dead meat dengan cikgu/lecturer" or "Serious aku rasa aku dapat rendah doh" or whatever sentences that I made up the night before each exam or pre-exam or 5-minutes-before exam time that shows me are going to be dead soon enough in the exams. I did this ever since I was in primary school. Seriously. Now, perhaps you guys wanna know why?
I was once a good student when I was in primary or secondary school. So literally, good student is a student who always scores in exams right? Yes, I once thought that I'm the best. Best as in 'I-believe-myself-can-do-this', not as in 'compared-to-him/her'. So, I was really a confident guy back then. But, not now (everybody who is close to me knows this pretty well and there's nothing they can do about this). SO, I aimed at high marks when I was in school, for an exam. Aiming high without studying anything is just merely stupid, but but seriously I did study hard too for that exams + with confidence that I could gain that marks. But what happened? I deeply heart-broken.
People says that "Aim at the sky, for at least if you fall, you'll fall on the cloud". Well, it's totally different in my case. My marks were really really unbelievably terrible. Upset. So, like Harith Iskander said "I am mentally TRAUMATIZED". Yes, I could never be as confident as that. I hate being confident. Whenever I feel confident, surely something is wrong there. Even to the simplest thing to the more complex thing like exams or marriage. So now you know why I act like that? Hopes are living bombs. Simple mistake could costs you your life.
SO, don't take it too seriously when I say that before exams. Just to comfort myself up, not to put any stress on my shoulder like "you-must-score-you-must-score", instead I just should put my effort like-I-should-score, but NEVER put any hope on getting good marks. NEVER! Any FYI, this semester's exams were really hard. Hard as in, I don't have enough time to prepare for everything. I usually read a book 2 times (at least) before exams, because I don't memorize or understand well if I don't do that. Seriously, 3-4 days to repeat even 2 times the 464545651261312 pages books? HELL NO!
So, I know where is my level of ilmu-di-dada (which is very low, because whenever I tried to recall, I EFFING COULDN'T!), which is very far from what you guys perpetually see in me.
Now understand why I act like that?
Thank you, and sorry if I do make you guys stressed up upon checking your facebook home wall. Just block me, no hard feelings though.
So, anything else that you wanna know about me uh?
Wah it has been like 24 hours after stress-loaded Pharmacology exam yesterday, yet I still feel the tiredness of staying up for this one whole month of exam tsunami. I would like to give me a round of claps for all the hardwork (la-sangat) that I spent daily. Result, obliviously is just a matter of luck, I didn't expect anything. Well, exams are exams. Exams are obligatorily should be accompanied with stress. Just to be clear, this third year examinations are the worst exams that I ever had entered in my entire life. The stress, scared of being failed were just so unbearable (well as for me, I don't know others). These exams were more than SPM, though not as important as SPM, but I can't deny the fact that these 5 exams were really tiring enough to get me hang myself up, or jump off a building like KLCC or something higher than that.
Yes, I am serious.
Why? You know SPM, or other Malaysian-oriented-examinations are just so much more well planned. They will have a long period of study weeks. Just to prepare a bundle up exams. We were given just 5 days to prepare for this 5 exams. Of course it wouldn't make any sense we finish it up by time to cover all of the topics learnt for 2 semesters per subject. So, we had another option;- Study the subject within the inter-exam interval time. Short enough, around 3-4 days. I managed to cope though not that strongly for the subjects that need understanding like Therapy, Surgery, PatAnat, or Patphys. Just enough time. But, as for Pharmacology, I got only 3 days to study them all, with the drug's names which are too ridiculous enough to remember, I had to buckle up everything for my last exam. Luckily, I passed it. Alhamdulillah, thanks to Allah for everything.
Mysteriously mystery and misery
So lately, people are getting on their nerves on me. Merely because of what? Yeah, because I USUALLY updated my psycho-exam-stressing Facebook statuses. And usually it happens the night before exam. Every exam. Okay, I made up my mind just to clear things up in this blog, though I know, they or you wouldn't read this. Things are getting more annoying for them, when they found out I got kinda good results (**good, acc. to them).
I keep saying "I am soooo gonna fail this exam" or "Habislah aku esok, dead meat dengan cikgu/lecturer" or "Serious aku rasa aku dapat rendah doh" or whatever sentences that I made up the night before each exam or pre-exam or 5-minutes-before exam time that shows me are going to be dead soon enough in the exams. I did this ever since I was in primary school. Seriously. Now, perhaps you guys wanna know why?
I was once a good student when I was in primary or secondary school. So literally, good student is a student who always scores in exams right? Yes, I once thought that I'm the best. Best as in 'I-believe-myself-can-do-this', not as in 'compared-to-him/her'. So, I was really a confident guy back then. But, not now (everybody who is close to me knows this pretty well and there's nothing they can do about this). SO, I aimed at high marks when I was in school, for an exam. Aiming high without studying anything is just merely stupid, but but seriously I did study hard too for that exams + with confidence that I could gain that marks. But what happened? I deeply heart-broken.
People says that "Aim at the sky, for at least if you fall, you'll fall on the cloud". Well, it's totally different in my case. My marks were really really unbelievably terrible. Upset. So, like Harith Iskander said "I am mentally TRAUMATIZED". Yes, I could never be as confident as that. I hate being confident. Whenever I feel confident, surely something is wrong there. Even to the simplest thing to the more complex thing like exams or marriage. So now you know why I act like that? Hopes are living bombs. Simple mistake could costs you your life.
SO, don't take it too seriously when I say that before exams. Just to comfort myself up, not to put any stress on my shoulder like "you-must-score-you-must-score", instead I just should put my effort like-I-should-score, but NEVER put any hope on getting good marks. NEVER! Any FYI, this semester's exams were really hard. Hard as in, I don't have enough time to prepare for everything. I usually read a book 2 times (at least) before exams, because I don't memorize or understand well if I don't do that. Seriously, 3-4 days to repeat even 2 times the 464545651261312 pages books? HELL NO!
So, I know where is my level of ilmu-di-dada (which is very low, because whenever I tried to recall, I EFFING COULDN'T!), which is very far from what you guys perpetually see in me.
Now understand why I act like that?
Thank you, and sorry if I do make you guys stressed up upon checking your facebook home wall. Just block me, no hard feelings though.
So, anything else that you wanna know about me uh?
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