Expressing the sense of art.

Assalamualaykum,

I do always have this kinda of thought: if every person in this world can express themselves into something that they want to, what would it be? I find that, it is a pretty much easy, but hard question to answer on the spot. And spot on, you are wondering, what would you wanna be if you are not a human, or, if you wanna transform and re-transform to-and-from what form?

We human, through that, have the sense of thinking, and naturally it is, we really want to be part of something big like a community, BUT still being able to distinguish ourselves from others. Simple. We have 1 million people in a single big large hall, or room. Do you wanna look the same, or be able to be different, but, at the same time, be able to part of them too, you know, socially, right? That's the subconscious 'law of social nature'. We, from inside, do know we need to be part of 'them', by any possible unique means.

I find it hard at first.
But, to be able to get out of the 'social norm' that is hypothetically set inside my mind, was pretty hard. The barrier is not them, its me. The one who created the barrier after so long time it was stuck in my head.

I am someone who are expressive. By nature. But, by not being able to express myself under certain circumstances make me really feel unhappy, something that doesn't comfort you from within. Living with something you wanna be, but, you can't be that. Because you think of what others think of you when you do that. There, lies the main core problem: thinking about what others think of you. I have been so inferior for many years, be it academically, in sports or whatever, but being an inferior that what YOURSELF can actually be able to do, its blatantly stupid.

Fashion.
I find it not a suitable word for what I am about to say, but yeah, its all about clothes. Or to be exact, what actually you wear.
I have been certainly 'highlighted' by dear friends about how I actually look nowadays on daily basis. Certainly different from what I used to be for the past 3 years. The spirit whas there long before I was here, but the expression, had been absent, well till this year.
I am not a stylish person, nor, someone who always wants to show off what I buy, or wear. But, what I wear, is what I want to express myself. This, is the my 'sense of art' expression. I did feel like I am somekind of people who 'overdress', but, ignore the people, even they would say so even if you are naked or dead. Can't really blame them, because, some people don't really have the brain to actually understand.

I like clothes. More than I actually like reading books (which apparently what everybody thinks of me eheh). I like reading catalogs or magazines of interior designing. Something related to imagination, and be able to express it to yourself, and be satisfied with it by being able to take it, do it, and see it. I sound like a girl right now, but still, I do have this kind of interests ever since I am small. I can't draw, thats the sad part of it (or actually I can draw or paint but the hidden talent is not yet unlocked?? XD).

So, yeah. I am building myself up by dressing up. Not on all occasional days, but, I am gonna do it. Oh, no worries, I don't actually take picture of myself whenever I think I look good and post it online. I just don't. I wanna be good, just for myself.

Thanks to Instagram, the ideas are certainly widened :)

And the tulips. As always to end my April and start my May.